Before You Judge, Look Who You Match!

Introduction

One of the best pieces of advice given is: Before you judge, see who you match!

The Story

In his early twenties, there was a young man with a pure dream. He longed for a peaceful home, a righteous wife, and a life built on love, not destruction. He dreamed of children he could cherish and take pride in. This dream never left his mind; it stayed with him in every step he took in life.

One day, he sat beside a wise old man, someone who had experienced many stories and learned from them. The young man asked for advice about his dream of a peaceful home and a good wife. The wise man replied:

“My son, I see you are very determined. Here is my advice—many don’t share this with you: Loving a girl is easy. Getting married is quite possible. But choosing the right partner for your life is where the real test lies.

Beware of the stubborn woman. She thinks strength comes from competition and believes her dignity is in challenging others. What she doesn’t realize is that she is closer to falling than rising by being competitive.

Be cautious of the materialistic woman, the one who views money as her god. She will sell your love for a piece of gold or a fancy dress.

Also, beware of the selfish woman, who would trade her day and future for material things, disregarding feelings entirely.

If you meet a girl who doesn't consult her father, know that she doesn't respect his opinions. If she disrespects him, how can she respect you?

If you notice her mother running the home while ignoring the man, understand that history will repeat itself.

If she shares the details of her home and complains publicly, trust that your secrets are at risk. What you seek as security is just an illusion in her hands.

Beware of the woman who claims to be a strong, independent woman. She sings of pride, not independence. Today, she may not need you, but tomorrow she may stand against you.

If you see that she takes her ideas from the voices on screens advocating for women’s liberation, then tell her, even in her house after your engagement: ‘May God bless you with someone better than me!’

Avoid the woman who lacks knowledge and whose heart is not lit by faith, spending her life gossiping about others.

Stay away from the one who has no shame, who brags and flaunts her boldness, treating modesty as a flaw, not a virtue.

Watch out for those with a past filled with multiple relationships; a heart accustomed to wrongdoing cannot comprehend loyalty.

Beware of the fragile woman, easily swayed by sweet words. A man can easily deceive her with flattery or a glance.

Be cautious of the selfish woman who only sees herself, living for her desires and treating you just as a means to an end.

Finally, beware of a home led by a woman; such homes crush men and diminish their dignity. This kind of home is unstable, and its downfall is just a matter of time!

The wise man looked at him with tearful eyes and said:
“Your wife, my son, is your backbone. You must understand this and live by it. Never leave your backbone exposed in a world full of wolves. And never choose someone who will destroy you while thinking she’s winning for herself.”

Then the wise man turned and said:
“I do not speak just to men, but also to every girl.

Do not marry unless you understand that marriage is about love and mercy, not competition. If you cannot say, ‘I’m here for you’ in love, or ‘I am wrong’ in anger, don’t marry. If you do not understand that obeying your husband is strength, not weakness, and that apologizing raises your status, don’t marry.

You might attract a man with your beauty or your apparent religion, but true love is built on good obedience, kindness, and good companionship.

Understand that a good wife is loyal and obedient. She does not argue unnecessarily; she knows when to step back and when to comfort her husband.

So, before you judge, look at whom you are matching with. Do not settle for the stingy, weak, selfish mama’s boy with wandering eyes, the liar, the narcissist, or the hypocrite. Do not sacrifice your life because marriage isn't just a piece of paper—it’s a whole life!”